Monday, May 12, 2014

Day after mothers day - reflection

This is not the normal type post for my blog. I have been deep in thought today about being a mom.

Yesterday was filled with gifts, cards, a dance recital, and some time to myself. I am lucky to be a mom. Period. I am lucky to have been given the kids I have. I am lucky that I have been chosen to guide them, teach them, and love them wholeheartedly. I cannot imagine what my life would be like if they were not in it. Actually, I don't want to imagine it. They have made me who I am and who I desire to be.

We may have chosen to live a frugal life, to not be bombarded with trinkets and the older I get, the less I want. I am hoping to teach my children that happiness and joy does not come from money. I have always wanted them to learn this, but even more now with all the "stuff" out there. This is the hardest lesson of all, because you do want them to have things, to not be looked at as "poor" even though we are not.

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about boundaries and how people will make you feel like you have to give your kids everything that's materialistic. It's hard. She's a new mom, I know she will struggle with it, because we both have similar values and hopes for our kids, and I struggle with it.

The desire to prove everyone wrong that we can financially be materialistic sometimes sneaks up on me. I am not going to lie about this. I know that's not the answer. I know it's offensive when someone assumes we are not of a certain "class", but nor do they understand that it's a choice.

At my daughters' recital yesterday, nearly every girl her age was on a tablet of some sort in the waiting room. My daughter took a doll and clothing to keep her busy, another child brought the crazy loom to make bracelets. I make her keep her kindle at home (which is time limited in my home).

I look back and just think, I am glad my adult kids, got to be kids. I am thankful I do not and did not succumb to that horrible desire to prove people wrong with my kids. My adult kids memories include swimming, exploring fields, catching snakes, water balloon fights, sprinklers, bonfires, vacations and bike rides.... they never talk about playstation, gameboys, xbox, or the expensive shoes (which they had these things, but was limited). My youngest still has childhood memories to make. I intend to be the mom that I was meant to be, one who provides them  with a stable foundation and memories to tell their grandchildren. I am meant to raise responsible, loving, and caring adults. And I will do my best.

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